Too much of me, too little of you.
We started out so strong but ended up alone. You explained to me once how one person always loves the other more, even if it's only 51 and 49; just one percent more.
As much as I hate to admit, you were right. I did love you more than you loved me. I let go of all good things in my life to hold on to ‘us’, which I then believed was all that mattered.
Naive, we are when we’re in love. It’s true we don’t see clearly. It’s true we’re blind and oblivious to reality because everything seems perfect. You left me incharge of us and then let go of me because I assumed those duties. I complete a year today, without you. We complete a year today in our free reigned lives. Ones without each other. You chose to be completed by other people, you replaced me even before you let me go. I’m on my own though, I realise now I always was.
Hennessy soaking my brain every passing day, am I self destructing? I’m never going to find out. I went from being too much for you to being too much for my own. Too much to be taken in by your little heart, like you always said. Were we ever supposed to end up this way? Were we ever supposed to even end up together? You left me with no answers. Hell, you left me without a sign of caution, you left me feeling completed by you when actually you were never here to complete me. You left me thinking you were mine, accepting it as a universal truth when in reality you left me behind.
I’m on my own now, you wish upon me death. I always wished you the best, I still do. I thank you for making me strong enough to feel complete with a missing puzzle piece. I thank you for making me strong enough to face the world with merely wind on my side. Most of all, I thank you for letting me go before you destroyed me with your evil.
Lucifer, didn’t you call me that? Fun how you stabbed me in the back when the whole time I regarded you as god.
Yes, I am a fallen angel. Now that I can see clearly I realise the fallen angel is a lone wolf ready to either ride or die, without wanting companionship and support to feel whole.
Bless you, baby boy, that’s all you’ll ever be.